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22 Miles for TFMR - Mile 7 - Vaughn

Mile 6 of the Channel Challenge is dedicated to beautiful Vaughn.

This is Vaughn's story, told by his wonderful mummy. 

Vaughn Lionel Edwards
We had our 20week scan on Wednesday 7th February. We saw our baby moving. We saw our baby yawning. We saw black holes in the abdomen. We saw low amniotic fluid. The sonographer said we would need to see a specialist. He said the appointment would be in a day or two. I chased and chased. I tried to get us in a private clinic. I had to know. I couldn’t shake the feeling my baby screamed not yawned. I couldn’t shake the feeling my baby was dying. I had to know. We got a cancellation.
The specialist explained that our baby’s bladder was badly damaged and the kidneys were ruined. There must be a blockage somewhere and the urine can’t pass to maintain the amniotic fluid. There wasn’t enough amniotic fluid to support lung development. She explained our baby would need massive medical intervention upon birth. She explained our much loved, much longed for baby had very little chance of life even with massive medical intervention. She explained we had a few options from doing nothing to a termination. She explained about the injection to stop our baby’s heart if we went over 21w5d.
To say we were devastated is an understatement. We realised for the sake of our much loved, much longed for baby, for our toddler, for our family that we needed to spare our baby more pain and suffering. We chose when our baby would die. We chose to act quickly. Our baby would die and no one would need to inject to stop a beating heart.
We went to the bereavement suite in hospital. We were given paper work. I was given a tablet to stop the pregnancy hormones. We went home. We returned the next day. I was given a pessary at midday. We watched Winter Olympics. We listened to music. We ate ‘interesting’ hospital food. We actually laughed too. I had contractions, bounced on a birthing ball. and another pessary. My waters were broken.
Our much loved, much longed for baby was born at 10:20pm on Wednesday 14th February 2018 at 21w5d. We discovered our beautifully perfect baby was a boy. He was 450g and 26cm. We stared at him for hours and took many photographs. We held him in our hands and arms. We stroked his cheeks and held his fingers. He was so delicate and small. He looked perfect and peaceful. He had fingernails and big feet just like his big brother had when he was born. 
We stayed in hospital for 36hours. No time was a good time to leave. We would never want to. Leaving hospital with a memory box and wobbly belly was so hard. We returned home to tell our biggest boy about our smallest. We spared Vaughn pain and suffering but our hearts were broken.
Vaughn means ‘small’ in Welsh. Lionel means ‘little lion’ and my Grandpa’s name. The colour purple, amethysts, hearts, Vs and lions are all reminders of our Vaughn.

I'm incredibly honoured and touched to be able to share the stories of so many loved and missed babies. If you'd like to dedicate a mile of this swim and tell your own baby's story, please do get in touch.

You can sponsor the challenge here https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/TLBFCo.

If you have found yourself in a similar situation and would like some support the ARC website is here https://www.arc-uk.org/